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In a recent parenting class I learned 8 ways to bond. It is very important for parents to have a bond of trust with their kids. This is also very important in business networking of the type I like to call Servant Leadership Netweaving.
My mentors in Servant Leadership Netweaving were very good at these 8 keys to bonding. Through these we were able to build a deep trust relationship.
Express unconditional love
Love in business relationships? What? Are you crazy? No! How do you build trust if you always hold the other side to quid quo pro? You don't. This is true in all human relationships. If you keep score, then you don't trust the other to be "fair" to you. Give up on fair. Fair was never
promised. Think back to the one person you trust deeply. Is that a
quid quo pro relationship?
Regular dates with your wife are just as important as regular time for 1on1s with your trusted advocates with whom you netweave.
When you are with someone who is constantly answering their phone or tapping away on their blackberry, do you feel appreciated and do you feel loved? Not really. In fact, if you are honest, you feel used or ignored. Then why would we do this time and time again to our trusted netweaving
This goes back to the blackberry or phone or computer too. You have to show interest in someone in order to be interesting. If your father only ever answered you with monotone generic replies from behind a newspaper or while watching sports or news or while using his computer, would you feel appreciated and
would that be building trust? No. It wouldn't. Make the effort to
make eye contact and take notes of important information when you
are on 1on1s with your netweaving partners. It will pay dividends
in your trust relationships.
Regular 1on1s and emails and unexpected calls just to talk about the daily grind and the family are important. So are hand-written cards. Time spent in relationships is an investment.
Meaningful personal communication
Texting about the weather is beginner relationship skills. Asking how a meeting went just after it finished, and consistently following through on promises pays dividends gang.
Having fun together
All business and no play makes relationships one sided. Add good time to just hang out together and play.
If your netweaving partner shares a tragic event in their lives, don't just let it end there. Don't just preach about things they know. Prove you care. Pray.
Building relationships takes effort. Network to find people you want to advocate for you and for whom you can advocate. Then build deep trust relationships and take it to the next level of netweaving. To do this, you must learn to give without expectation of anything in return.