Premier Professional Business Networking In Houston | Events | Tools | Help
Recently, I was watching an Oprah interview with the late Maya Angelou, where she was explaining that sometimes people may create drama about you, but it is actually outside of you. She was talking with Oprah, who at the time was having an experience where a tabloid had written a salacious story about her, causing her life to be momentarily stressful.
As Oprah was rehashing and relating the drama, Maya said: “You’re not in it, Oprah.” It took Maya a couple of times to say it before Oprah finally got it. The drama that was being created was about Oprah, but OUTSIDE of her sphere, therefore it was really about the issues and motivations of the other people. She, Oprah was NOT IN IT.
You’re not in it, or even more personal, I’m not in it! Oye-vey! Why didn’t I hear this a month ago when some insane drama had surfaced in my life? Someone had said something about me that was out of left field, it felt like a rock had been thrown at my head. I could not understand why someone could come up with this idea about me when they really did not know the truth of my matter. So of course, I reacted, by defending myself. That only made me internalize the whole thing which was a complete waste of time and emotions.
Well, let’s just say I have adopted a new line and I have added it to my vocabulary.
I’M NOT IN IT.
I started to use this “affirmation” when the idea was presented to me that I could have “haters”. People sitting on the sideline of my life, throwing rocks at my forehead. Say what? I don’t have haters! Really??? I mean how could anyone hate loveable little me? I would like to hope that I am a well-liked person, who people know, would never hurting a fly. (Grin)
But I digress. But let’s say there was someone out there who for some odd reason does not like me and is pulsing negative energy in my direction. Frankly, if I had “haters”, or a (single) “hater” it’s because these people don’t really know me or they may just plumb misunderstand me and what I am about. It’s basically their issue. As far as I am concerned now, I’m not in it.
I believe that if we buy into the “hater syndrome” you are only drawing attention to them, almost courting them and showing them that they have affected you with their baseless opinions of you. I am certainly not a Pollyanna who thinks everyone likes you all the time, but why give energy to those who don’t matter? I also won’t feed the negativity to myself, buying into this attitude that people are hating on me, because it will only draw the same negative energy back to me
When people talk about you negatively, sneer at your efforts or slam your accomplishments, that is on THEM. So anytime the word gets back to you about folks having a mini OR major gossip fest about you, say it again: I’M NOT IN IT.
Keep it moving and keep it positive!